MsJAG

"I went with the Original Burger. At first bite, decent enough. But halfway through, I got a surprise side order of mystery bone. Twice. Nothing like chewing your way through what feels like beef mixed with gravel. It honestly felt unsafe to eat. The curly fries? Solid. The burgers? Wet, greasy, and occasionally had bone shards in it. Not worth the dental risk."

"Walked in. No greeting. Just stood there while Jordan chatted with two men like the front desk was his personal podcast studio. No eye contact. I waited two minutes before speaking up. His response? 'Good for you.' Weirdly aggressive, like just existing in front of him was annoying. Later he finally addressed me as 'the girl in the black hat.' Alpha male behavior we should all recognize."

"Might've been the best 'car maintenance' experience I've ever had. We were greeted warmly and shown the lounge. There were several cozy, private seating areas, each with its own TV, like little introvert pods designed for civilized waiting. Genius. No loud noises, nothing disruptive. Just peaceful oil-changing serenity. Etobicoke BMW has officially won us over."

"Went for ART OF US with Miss Tara. The atmosphere was EDM electric. The room layout, lighting, and ceiling lasers gave it a creative underground feel while still being comfortable to move around. The sound system was powerful and crisp, with deep bass that carried through the whole warehouse. Perfect balance of energy and ambience."

"Pickup at the airport was confusing, no clear signage, bit of a scramble. At Secrets, we were greeted with sparkling drinks. The room was decent but not spotless: drawers still had items from the previous guest, dirt on the bathroom wall, and an uncomfortable mattress with a strange lump. Pros: Great adult-only pool areas and excellent coffee at the Coco Cafe."

"The Caesar salad was absolutely delicious... dressing was a 10 out of 10. The miso and black cod was delicious. The Negroni was amazing—house special with real depth, chilled but not watered down. We sat on the front patio, but when we left we were surprised to find a live DJ in the back with a full party scene going on."